Posted in Lifestyle

Cardiac Clearance for Surgery

Yesterday, I had an appointment with a new Cardiologist, because my Podiatrist has requested that I have this prior to surgery. It is my understanding that the Anesthesiologist might refuse and my surgery would have to be rescheduled. My mother had a difficult pregnancy with me and almost lost me. At birth, I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck and part of my body and I wasn’t breathing. It took some time for them to get a response, but later I was diagnosed with an Cardiac Arrhythmia, which is very common; there are more than 3 million per year diagnosed. A Cardiac Arrhythmia is also called an Irregular Heartbeat or improper beating of the heart, whether irregular, too fast, or too slow; and it occurs when electrical impulses in the heart don’t work properly.

I now have surgery scheduled, on October 30, 2019, the day before Halloween. It is difficult being so far apart from my wonderful fiancé, Austin, because I really hoped he would be here with me by now. I did not want to have another surgery without Austin by my side. Austin’s voice helps to soothe me when I am desperately in pain. He also has a way to calm me down when I become upset. I love him very much and miss him terribly. If I could visit him again, I would be on the next plane to Nigeria, but since my return from my last trip I was told that I would not be allowed to fly again without a physician’s clearance; which to date I have been unable to obtain due to some health issues that are slowly getting better. I dread going into surgery, because I know I will not be able to hold his hand and give him a kiss and knowing that when I wake up his face would be the first face I see.
International Relationships are extremely difficult, especially when you have health issues. Austin is my emotional support and I for him, as well. But, it just is not the same as having him with me physically. It is also difficult knowing that someone whom has never seen us together and spends only 5 minutes with us to tell us whether we can be together or not.

The Immigration process doesn’t make our lives any easier.

All I kept thinking when I was at the doctor appointment this morning was how much I truly miss Austin. Despite the stressors I have endured lately, I obtained cardiac clearance and have my surgery date. Since I was 18 years old I have now endured 26 surgeries and I still have many more to go, before this part of my journey is complete. I despise what Austin must go through every single day just so he can make sure that he is always available for me whenever I might need him for an emergency. But, he tries so hard and he truly does so much for me on a day to day basis.

I just pray that this upcoming surgery on my right foot will have me up and walking some until I have my next surgery to have my stimulators removed. Eventually, I will need a total knee replacement, wrist surgery, pain pump surgery, and lastly skin removal and a breast reduction and lift combined with Hernia repairs (I hope). I am so thankful to have Austin by my side at least through electronics, for now. It really sucks that our Immigration system would not even issue a Tourist Visa for him to be here for my surgery.


Austin, I love you so very much and I can’t wait until we are together again. You are my soulmate!

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Posted in This Is Our Journey

Activating Your Faith

But have you ever wondered why your life doesn’t always reflect these promises? How do believers activate God’s promises in their lives? Is there some secret or formula involved? Well, yes, there is, sort of…

This question has always been in my mind. Today, after going through, yet another challenge to my faith in God, I came across this article written by Leslie White on June 3, 2019… Is God talking to me?

Throughout my life I have rarely experienced the promises of God. I have spent most of my life, living in disappointment with my life circumstances, multiple failed relationships, and constant family turmoil. Now, I am dealing with constant daily medical issues and God finally graced my life, by adding Austin to my life, but once again the rejection felt by the interview at the Nigerian Embassy, has me headed backwards in my head, yet again.

I know I should be positive, even with disappointment, because disappointment can become sinful, sin deceives us so that truth seems like a lie, and lies seem like the truth. Check out this article below. It will change your perception.

Posted in Challenges, This Is Our Journey

Interview Day – The Disappointment

Today, Austin had his interview with the Embassy in Nigeria and although did not fully deny him a visa, they have not approved him for a visa until I can find a joint sponsor that meets the income requirements I am unable to meet, on my own. In addition, they want more medical records and a statement from me as to why I have not been able to visit for the last two years. This statement they are requesting, they have already, in the 8 or more page letter I typed to USCIS when we filed our case initially.

I am devastated and asking, “why me.” Those around me saying, God has His reasons and I am asking myself why God would allow us to suffer this way, after all we have been through. We have waited 3 years and been through more than one mountain of challenges, several surgeries on me, and many more medical issues. I have no one that can assist or is willing to assist in joint sponsorship of my fiance.

I have been awake more than 24 hours and spent the last 8 to 10 hours crying off and on. When Austin first started telling me the story of what happened, I thought to myself, maybe he is spoofing me again, like he has been doing to me lately. But, the more he talked the more I began to realize the disappointment to come. I spent a month in his arms and wonder when will I see my soulmate, the love of my life, again.

You spend all this time leading up to this one moment in time… You never know what to expect, but you know they already have made their decision before you even arrived. All I can do now is pray that God will find a way for us to be together.

For those of you out there, that are together, hold your loved one close. remember them when they are gone, and love them with all your heart. I wouldn’t wish this feeling on my worst enemy.